Mama's Boys and Girls

As I mentioned in my previous post, I am not cooking at home these days. The reason is that my roomie S's mom is here in US helping her study for GMAT. So, these days as I have lot of time at home once I am back from work, my main source of amusement is the interaction between her and her mom on day to day basis. I am amused at the thought how mother-daughter interactions can be so different from my own.

The first time S told me that her mom is coming here, she also added that she is coming here to make sure S appears for GMAT asap. She said her mom knows very well that if she is left alone to do it, she would never do it. Wait a minute, such a thing never happened even when I was in high school where my mom made sure I do my home work, I prepare for exams or I get a good percentage. It really felt a little strange! My mom's attitude has always been "You know what you want, and I know you will do what you have to, to get what you want".

S now should be around 24. She has a career experience of around 2 years. I am pretty sure, she knows whether she wants to do an MBA or not. If she knows, she needs an MBA at any cost, she will appear for GMAT with all seriousness. Why on earth is S's mom so concerned abt her career or MBA. Now, I am not totally denying parents' role in shaping up our career or helping us see the right things. We need their moral and emotional (till some point, financial too ;) ) support throughout our lives. Having said that, it is exactly where their role should end, is it not?

I also see that S is totally dependent on her mom when it comes to her career problems. I see in their conversations how S's mom advices her what to do, what not to do, how to talk, how to behave. Well, there is no doubt S's mom herself is managing a company of her own and has lot of experience in terms of career. But then, S herself has enough experience in her career to tackle her day to day problems. Venting out career frustrations to moms is one thing, taking advices is still fine, but it seems to me S exactly does what her mom asks her to do. If not for her mom, I think S would be clueless to deal with certain situations at office.

My mom is a home maker and never had any career as such. She will never be able to contribute to my career decisions. All she does is support me when I need the most. My dad did have a career but I am never dependent on him to decide what is the best for me. This is because, I feel I am an independent individual who alone knows what is the best for herself. My parents cant feel the passion I feel for certain things, they dont understand why I detest doing certain things. Definitely being in 20's means, you handle your life yourself. Is it not??

I am not sure, if such a thing happens only with Indian parenting. I have read and heard about a different set up in America where children move out of their homes when they begin their college, work for their pocket money and decide what they want to be in life. Anyways, I am not really being judgemental here about what is right and what is wrong. It is more of an amused thought that crossed my mind few days ago.

For now, I continue to get amused for another two-three weeks!! :)

Happiest Moments...

I am done with my work for the day! :) :)..I have been damn lucky since past few days..Work from 9 to 5, go home, have dinner (and I am not cooking :) ), watch couple of episodes of Friends and hit the bed around 11. Can I ask for more...

Anyways, in this idle time of mine, I realize it's been a long time since I have been this relaxed in professional life. This thought is followed by another one.. "what were the happiest moments of my life when I was really really really happy?"

Well, here the list goes, in no particular order of chronology or preference.

1. when I got to know I would be traveling to Australia for a project. The prospect of going to a foreign country that early in my career was thrilling. And I was happy throughout the trip. The trip changed a lot of things..one of them is I started wearing jeans (ya, I did lot of things late in life) and got compliments for that too!!

2. when I got to know my pre-university results. I got a whopping 98% in PCM and was in top 30s in the entire state. Even as much as I know I am not an Einstein, it still made me feel damn good, because I had really worked for it and the hard work had paid off.

3. when I see my nephew or his snap. I have never felt such selfless love for anyone in life (... or I dont know if it's selfish again, afterall its your own nephew). I could not stop myself from going to the cradle every now and then even while he slept...Oh! babies are real wonders of life.

4. when I wore saree for the first time for my tenth standard send off and I got so many compliments for it..for the first time, I felt feminine and proud of my looks :)

5. when we won carrom mixed doubles 4-3 in my 2nd year of college when we actually trailed 0-3 at one point and went on to win the next four games to beat the over-complacent seniors..hahaha..and the entire class was around us encouraging!

6. when I first drove the car with permanent license, it was the most thrilling and liberating experience (yes, liberating, you will understand if you come to US without the driving license or a car)

7. when I cut my hair short back in 2003 so I could let it loose without having to tie it or plat it and I looked good and made me feel damn good! It was a complete new ME. Believe me, a good hairstyle can actually make you feel completely different from what you were before. From then on, I have never allowed my hair to grow so long that I have to tie it (exception is when I had to get married and mom did not allow me to go for a haircut :( )

I guess the list is complete...not many considering that I have been living life for almost 3 decades!!

Me not so "typical"

I dont look or behave "typical" (you have to imagine 2 raised hands in the air depicting quotes there)...Let me explain. People have always told me the following things so much so that I almost aniticipate one of them to pop out from every acquaintance I meet.

1a. First version - "Oh, I never thought you are a south indian, I thought you must be a marwadi"...
1b. Second version - "Are you from "Pph"akistan?"..typically in US of A
2. "Oh, you had an arranged marriage??"...silence...smile...
3. "Oh, you actually know all those old kannada songs and you read kannada books, I never thought so as you hardly look like the one who does, you know how typical bangalore gals are"....ya sure I know...
4. "Oh, you wanna be a manager, but I always thought you like technical"...

Makes me wonder if I have such strong pre-conceived notions about anybody in life....

The feeling has been weird. Nothing seems to make sense. Why is that we always yearn for something that never was or is ours and always ignore what we have? Is it really true that you will realize the value of few things in life only after you have lost them?

Life is weird. What you have is something you don’t want and what you want, you can’t have it.

“iruvudellava bittu iradudara edege tudivudhe jeevana” – Gopalakrishna Adiga